Tonsillectomies and Other Lessons Learned

Taylor had her tonsils out yesterday and as I sat with her through the last 2 days I realized that I am not so different than a 2 1/2 year old in the way I respond to God...
Sometimes there comes a time when I need something removed from my life for my own good. I may be told that I need this procedure and I seem willing... Taylor was on the front porch waiting when I drove to pick them up at 6 am. She had on her new princess jammies and was excited that she was going to the Docker (Dr.) she had no idea... I have found myself so many times waiting anxiously for God to do something in my life.. let's go God. The first thing that seems to let me know that this process is not all I think it is going to be is when my princess attire is removed and replaced by hospital gown that is a far cry from what I deserve. No, No I cry, these are my princess jammies. The next thing I know I'm waking up from a deep sleep and all I feel is pain... there are people there to help me, but I kick and cry and roll around on the bed. I fight and spit when the healing balm of his word is placed in my mouth, sometimes I hold the medicine in my mouth and wait quietly for a moment and when I think God isn't watching I spit it out onto the pillow... I think I'm angry at Him for bringing me this pain while at the same time I cling to Him as He rocks and sooths me, He longs to comfort me but I go back and forth between relaxing in His arms and pushing Him away so I can cry alone on my bed.
The water of His Holy Spirit is offered to me repeatedly, No I say, I don't want it. I'm told over and over that just a sip or two will ease some of the pain but it takes a long while for me to give in to that. Just a sip, then another, amazingly it's true. It does start to feel better. As the day wears on I accept the word and the spirit a little more willingly each time. After some time I even rub my tummy and say Nummy Num. What do you know, He was right... right about needing something removed for my own good... right about his word and his Spirit being the healing power in my life. Taylor won't remember the pain later, she won't miss her tonsils as she grows healthier each day. I pray that I will act a little less like a 2 year old the next time God makes changes in my life. Though I'm scared and hurting, I want to trust him that the thing he removes will not be missed as I grow healthier in Him.
Learning Daily,
Karen